God's wisdom is something mysterious that goes deep into the interior of his purposes. You don't find it lying around on the surface. It's not the latest message, but more like the oldest—what God determined as the way to bring out his best in us, long before we ever arrived on the scene. -1 Corinthians 2:7
If you'd asked me 15 years ago what my life would be like as an adult, I promise I never would have described it as it currently is. I would've told you that I'd be teaching kindergarten in a wonderful elementary school (because, don't you know, kindergartners are adorable, haha). I would've said that I would be married with lots of kids, probably working on the fourth and final because I have always said I wanted 4 kids. If you asked when we had our first, I would tell you that I was just 25. I also would've said that my husband, who I met at the church I grew up in and still attend to this day, lives with me in an amazing house and our children go to a great school. At 16, that would've been my idea of a great life.
But many of those things are absolutely not true. Yes, I have an awesome husband and we DID meet in the church I grew up in. But we don't still go there and I wasn't 25 when I had my first son. I was barely 19, thanks to lots of questionable choices and God's infinite wisdom. And while I am a teacher, I am a homeschool teacher. Oh, and to be clear, kindergarten is NOT fun to teach all the time! ;) Finally, while we DO currently have 4 children, I refuse to limit God by saying I'm done and happy with 4. I know I'm not alone when I say that Shaun and I would happily welcome a fifth and even a sixth-however many God wants us to have! We WANT to do HIS will; it works out so much better than our own!
I spent many years ashamed and even regretful of my past. But you know what? If I'd detoured off that path anywhere, my life wouldn't be what it is today. Changing my past would change my present and I'm happy with my present. God took my screw-ups and bad choices (and okay, the occasional good choice) and made it into this awesome life that I am privileged to live today!
A few years ago, Shaun and I experienced our very first miscarriage. I was just 9 weeks when I found out but I'd spent nearly a month getting excited about that baby, picturing his/her life with us, only to lose him/her. I was devastated and couldn't understand why God would give us that precious little life only to take it away again!
But I know now that God doesn't work that way. He didn't take that baby from us. Miscarriage is a very sad reality that is in our world because of sin and because this world is absolutely not perfect. But God did use that miscarriage for good. Becuase I went through that, I was able to help out friends who went through them. I had empathy for them that I never would have had without it.
I learned something else through that miscarriage too. Life goes on, even in a tragedy and God is there for me even in the worst times. He sent woman after woman who had been there to talk to me. He walked through it with me even when part of me wanted to push him away. He stayed by my side. He was faithful. And he still is.
My challenge for you and me this weekend: Be proud of the person God is shaping you into and allow him to make the changes necessary in your life to bring out the best in you! The person you are is a person that God adores! Let him adore you!