"Look here, you who
say, 'Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay
there a year. We will do business there and make a profit.' How do
you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the
morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you
ought to say is, 'If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this
or that.' Otherwise you are boasting about your own pretentious
plans, and all such boasting is evil.
Remember, it is sin to know
what you ought to do and then not do it." (James 4:13-17)
During the school year this
past year, I was homeschooling my younger two kids while the older
two went to public school. This wasn't a new thing. We'd been
homeschooling for several years by that point, but the older boys had
gone off to public school as we felt led to send them. At the start
of the year, therefore, I submitted paperwork that said I planned to
homeschool both my fourth grader and my first grader all year long.
If you had talked to me last summer, I likely would have told you
that I planned to continue homeschooling indefinitely. I enjoy the
extra time I get with my babies by doing so.
But by Christmas break, I
was getting this feeling like my daughter needed to go to public
school. I pushed it away, of course, because why? But every few days,
I would just get this overwhelming feeling about it. I prayed about
it. I talked to my best friend about it over and over again (we beat
that proverbial horse until it looked like a monkey*). I even
mentioned the idea here and there to my husband. But I didn't make
any sort of decision. Finally, in February, I took a tiny step. I
told my husband that I thought we should actually look into it for
the rest of the school year. I thought that surely he would say no,
that it was silly to send her for just a couple of months, and I
would be in the clear on this one. But he went and said, "yes, I
agree." *LOUD SIGH*
I have to insert here that I
felt a little like Jonah with the message to Tarsus. In that story,
he was afraid to go and didn't want to give a message of mercy to the
evil people of Tarsus (see the Book of Jonah in the Old Testament for
the whole story). Like him, I really didn't want to do what I felt
like God was leading me to do. I was struggling with the exact thing
James warns about in verse 17! "Remember, it is sin to know what
you ought to do and then not do it." Thankfully, God has blessed
me with an amazing, overly honest sometimes, and encouraging husband
along with an honest, loving, pushy-in-a-great-way,
Jesus-knows-what-he's-doing-so-just-do-it best friend.
I took another tiny step. I
called the school and talked to the admissions lady about what I
would need to do to get my daughter enrolled. She gave me the steps
and I completed them. Step by step over the next several days, I
walked the path that I felt God had laid out for me and before I knew
it, I was standing in the elementary school office on my daughter's
first day of school in the public school system (ever!). My fourth
grader walked into her classroom with her teacher and a class full of
kids that she didn't know. And you know what happened? She loved it,
of course!
By the end of the school
year, I found myself wishing that I'd been brave sooner, that we had
enrolled her in school sooner. Even though I missed her like crazy
when she was gone during the day, I knew without a doubt that she was
where God wanted her and she was loving every minute of it. In fact,
when the last day rolled around this year, she was super sad to see
the year come to a close. If it had been her choice, she would have
kept going to school all summer long. Haha.
So why did it take me so
long to listen? Well, I'm not sure which it was but I can think of a
few reasons that could have led to my choices:
1. I wanted it my way- Who
doesn't love doing things their own way? Don't we all love life a
little bit more when things are going our own way? The problem here
is that my way didn't match up with God's way.
2. Fear- Honestly, this was
the biggest deciding factor for me. I was afraid to take the steps
forward on this decision. What if she hated it? What if she
struggled? What if she failed? What if something happened to her
either in school or on the bus on the way to school?
3. Was it really God or was
this a trick? You can only sit in indecision for so long before
you're actually making a decision by not deciding. Whew, that was a
mouthful. But it makes sense, right? If I had continued to waffle on
my decision, we would have easily ended up at the end of our school
year (my daughter only needed another 60 days or so of school by
February as we always start early so we can end early). At some
point, after talking to plenty of people who also love God and love
me, I needed to take a step of faith and see what God guided me to do
next.
The next time you are
feeling like God is leading you to do something, no matter what it
is, move forward using these steps:
1. Pray about what you're
feeling. Talk to God about it and see what he shows you. He may never
speak audibly to you (I don't know, I'm not you) but he does speak-
through his followers, through memes and billboards, through messages
at church, and especially through His Word.
2. Check the Bible. Open it
up and see what it says in there about what you're being called to
do. If you are feeling called to do something that goes against the
Bible's teaching, it's not God calling you. God is never ever going
to call you to do something that he has already said no to in the
Bible.
3. Talk with trusted family
and friends who absolutely have your best interest at heart. What do
they think about the calling you're describing? Do they see any flaws
in the plan? Do they have any valid concerns that you should
consider? Or maybe they have a different first step that they think
you should take? What does God think about that step? Ask them to
pray with you. Remember that Ecclesiastes 4:12 teaches that "a
cord of three strands is not easily broken." And Jesus says in
Matthew 18:20, "when two or three of you are together because of
me, you can be sure that I’ll be there."
4. Keep talking to God as
you take the first step. Let him guide your steps. He is going to
lead you through what he's leading you to do. Even when you're afraid
to do what he's saying, take the steps anyway. God's way is always
infinitely better than our own!
Today I pray that we can all
take the steps that God is calling us to take. I pray that you are
brave and strong. And that you continue to talk to trusted people in
your life because God has given us fellowship for a reason!
As we close, think about the
following question. What is God calling you to do in your life that
you're afraid to do and what is the first step you need to take in
order to make it happen?
*No actual horses or monkeys
were harmed in the making of either my decision or this post.
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